The king is dead

This morning, the smell emanating from second floor men's room made my knees buckle. As I was walking by the door.

When the plume is strong enough to work its way through the door, you have officially lost your spot as "the best men's room in the building."

We've seen this coming. But when the champ finally hits the canvas, it's a shock.

Stand and deliver

Yesterday, I walked into fourth floor men's room and discovered a gentleman standing in the stall of last resort, engaged in a little number one action.

Both urinals were open for business (no waiting) and yet this fellow decided to head into the stall and make his pee pee there.

Interesting. And curious.

Why does a guy forgo the devil-may-care breeziness of a urinal for the more serious confines of the business chamber? Antisocial? Performance anxiety?

Is he anti-urinal? Or is he just extremely pro-stall?

Did he have a bad experience where a colleague tried to make conversation at the urinal but he's a "I-need-to-focus-on-what-I'm-doing" kind of guy and so he adopted a new routine?

Was he at a urinal and somebody looked over, looked down and made some sort of comment about his physiology? (I mean, past experience suggests that we do work among men who are built...differently.)

I, for one, wanted to know this man's story. But I could not ask. He was sealed away. Apart. Distant. Alone.

Just say no to medical waste

We don't write about the first floor men's room a whole lot. Since it's the facility that services that majority of guests to the agency, it's usually kept in pretty good shape.

But last week, I came across something that I have not seen on any other floor: medical waste left on the counter next to the sink. OK, so it was somebody's used disposable contact lens package, but...on the counter next to the sink? What's next, old bandages? Used syringes?

"Mmmm, this wound is healing nicely. I think I'll just leave this bloody gauze pad right here next to the soap."

Not cool. I realize that the 720 restrooms now only accept garbage of the paper towel variety, but if you're discarding something that was originally purchased at a pharmacy, maybe you take it with you when you leave? Just a thought.

Pastry chef is in the house

MAJOR triple red alert in 4th floor penthouse stall this morning.

Looks like somebody was trying to frost a cake.

Seriously, dude...I really don't need to see your ganache troweled all over the seat.

On the seat! How does one even do that? Where exactly is the exit on your frosting bag? The middle of your back?

Get thee to a doctor, friend. STAT.

I Just Want To Be Loved Allover

He never wants to touch me unless I ask him too! I would love for him to love me allover like he use too! And he hardly desires intimate love, plus he smokes, I think he would rather give up making love then his smoking cigarettes . I just want to be touched again all over like he use to, I`m the one that always issue love making 98% of time and I`m tired of it. Does he need his testosterone level checked?
Continue to I Just Want To Be Loved Allover post...

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Is It The Thrill Of The Pursuit That Turns Me On?

All my male life I have been unable to have performance abilities with a woman after the third or fourth time we have intimate love. In order to achieve complete satisfaction I have to be with a new partner. Once a woman consents to having lasting love with me I soon lose interest and can no longer finish making love and sometimes can't even get ready to perform. I'd like to have a long term sensual relationship but not too many women would go for a sexless marriage. Continue to post...

Bleach spill on three

Bleach spill outside the door of the third floor men's room.

And all I could think was, "They USE bleach in third floor men's room?"

Nothing about the experience of third floor men's room suggests that it has ever made the acquaintance of a cleaning product as strong as bleach.


I don't mean to sound like your wife, but would it kill you to lift the lid?

Or better yet, let me introduce you to Mr. Urinal--he doesn't have a lid that needs lifting.

Seriously, guys...earlier today, one of you walked into the fourth floor men's room, walked right past the two urinals, past the stall of last resort, past the Peter Brady stall, entered the penthouse stall, closed the door, locked it...and then proceeded to pee all over the seat.

Who does that?

Paper towels only

Recently, the men’s rooms (shouldn’t the plural of “men’s room” be “men’s reem?”) in our building “went green.” That means all the trash will be recycled.

As a consequence, fancy plastic signs have been affixed to each men’s room trash cans that say “Paper Towels Only.”

So here’s my question: what other trash were people tossing in there that necessitated the sign?

“Mmm...I think I’ll finish up my lunch in the men’s room and when I’m done, I will discard my extra food waste in the nearest receptacle.”

“Honey, don’t worry about the garbage in the kitchen, I’ll take it into work with me and dump it in the rest room.”

“Golly, should I go to the bathroom in one of the toilets or in this here trash can?”

Paper towels only, men. Glad we got that cleared up.

Is nothing sacred?

Everybody knows that the men’s room on two is the best men’s room in the building. There are a number of reasons—the low number of men who actually work on two, auto-flush toilets in every stall, a cheerful wall color, etc.

But even paradise has its bad days.

Today is a bad day for two.

The wall of smell hit me as soon as I opened the door. This would not be the premium potty experience I hoped for. I did a quick scan and realized that the Peter Brady stall was occupied.

Had the occupant chosen the warm embrace of the #2 stall, forgoing the relative splendor of the penthouse stall? Or was this a case of misplaced blame? Had the real offender just left the penthouse and exited the men’s room, leaving the Peter Brady occupant to take the blame for the remaining plume?

Put then I noticed it. A magazine. Open. On the ground between the two feet of the Peter Brady visitor.

We’re his hands too tired to hold the magazine while he sat? Were his hands otherwise occupied?

Men, there are few areas LESS sanitary then the square foot directly in front of a toilet. It is not a place one should set anything of value and certainly not an item that you will be taking with you, handling for extended periods of time and, perhaps, passing on to a colleague.

It was all the evidence I needed. The reader and the pooper were one in the same.

Second floor, I hardly know you.

Got Frustrated When She Could Not Get Into It

My girlfriend and I were just about to have sensual love recently and I noticed she was too dry for sexual activity. I lost my arousal function momentarily and she told me she couldnt get into it because she was afraid of hurting me because I suffered a back injury that day. It was getting late she said she had to get some sleep for work. I became a bit frustrated because I did not achieve a finish. I would just like to know if my performance frustration is due to overactive testosterone. Continue to post...

Toughest Athlete, Toughest Sport

There is often a debate that comes up when athletes discuss the merits of their sport. Which sport is the hardest, and who is the best kind of athlete in the world?

My father thinks it ridiculous when people claim to be the world's greatest whatever. "How do they know that someone is a South American village isn't better?" he would say. Without a definition of world's greatest, how can one claim the title?

The same applies for a best athlete or toughest sport claim. Please read on and express your thoughts!

It would be hard to put parameters around sports, athletes, and events to claim a winner, but the discussion is always fun. Activities should be broken down into at least strength/power, endurance, skill, and mental toughness.

Perhaps there should be a category for number of participants involved or the accessibility of the sport. For example, professional football may be a tough sport, but not many people play it. On the other hand because getting in to the top level is difficult, maybe football should be rated higher than other sports.

We need to also differentiate individual sports from team sports, and within team sports the individual positions.

Ironman triathlon (2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike ride, 26.2 mile run) is touted as the hardest one day endurance event. The event combines multiple sport disciplines and has its origin as a contest to see who was the best athlete amongst people with varying expertise. Running and cycling each have 24 hour events that are also challenging. Even car racing has 24 hour events such as Le Mans. When multiple day events and outside elements are taken into account, a different angle needs to be taken.

Can Le Mans be compared to the others because it uses multiple drivers and a support crew? It may be better than to compare the sport with other long events such as Iditarod (dogs), America's Cup (yachts), or the Giro d'Italia (cycling).

Mixed martial arts combines various arts and without a doubt takes power, strength, skill, and mental toughness. Fans of the sport claim that its competitors are the best athletes because they have to use multiple disciplines in order to succeed. These athletes have to be solid like a bodybuilder yet flexible like a gymnast.

Similar to these athletes, gymnast have to be well rounded and balanced and the same can be said of mountain climbers (Mt. Everest challenges). Some may claim that the differences are too great and the elements of difficulty too varied to put these athletes on the same judging platform.

An argument can be made for events and athletes that either depend on a team, or some outside element in order to be successful. Rodeo events including bull riding/events on horseback, and big wave surfing all merit mention. A lot of skill, strength, and stamina are involved with these types of events. There is also a crucial link with an outside element or being that must be considered.

How does the outside influence affect a run for the title? Team sports such as water polo, crew (rowing), and popular professional sports develop athletes but success can rarely be attributed to one athlete. Is it fair to give the best athlete title to one person who could not perform without the assistance of others?

My intent is not to provide answers, but merely to foster discussion. If the job of picking the top 3 where yours, who would make your list and why?

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