3 vs. E

Given the number of new employees at 720 California and the corresponding increase in readership, the staff here would like to address a common misconception about this blog.

This blog is NOT just about what happens in the fourth floor men’s room. Nay, this blog embraces the culture of ALL the restrooms at 720 California. It’s a state of mind rather than a destination.

In fact, if the international war crimes tribunal could only select one 720 California men's room to put on trial for crimes against humanity, they would have difficult time choosing between 3rd floor and E-level.

Both offer numerous examples of depravity and human suffering.

Third floor men’s room is the home toilet for a profoundly unhealthy workforce that does not know how to flush. It may also be the toilet of choice for a the Big Mac'r himself AND a co-worker that has the ability to shit out of his front. (Unless, god forbid, that is the work of the same mythical creature.) The walls are also a nauseating color, but that’s a little like criticizing the drapes a crime scene.

On the other hand, E-level is the scene if some of the most horrific dumps ever viewed ("...that's not a backpack") and I'm still convinced that there is a corpse rotting in one of the lockers by the door. And there's the ever-present danger that you might get pancaked into the (sole!) urinal by an eager pee-er quickly rounding the corner.

I give the slight edge to E-level based on two factors: the 24-hour "always open for business" schedule and the fact that lunch is regularly delivered to all who work on that floor.

Fire fighters know that a any blaze with a readily available fuel source and plenty of time to burn is a dangerous combination. That, my friends, is E-level in a nutshell.

No comments:

Post a Comment