Double red alert

This is not a drill.

I was just in third floor men's room and the penthouse stall is officially on double red alert status.

We're not talking about the stray, unexplainable remnant. We're in "my cup runneth over" territory.

I did not look into the eye of the storm for long for fear of losing my breakfast, but the quick glimpse suggested that the turds are about to jump over the porcelain wall and make a run for the door.

Stay clear of the area.

And if you are the chef that served up the meal that the toilet could not digest, you have a moral obligation to call facilities and report the crime. Be a man.